Joined: Nov 2004 Gender: Male Posts: 107 Location: Evesham Karma: 0
Re: RUGBY JOKES « Result #1 on Dec 12, 2009, 4:51pm »
Jonny Wilkinson Martin Johnson, Richard Hill and Johnny Wilkinson are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says, "before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in." Addressing Johnson first he asks, "what do you believe?" Johnson looks God in the eye and states passionately, "I believe Rugby to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from the grim North to the bright lights of Twickenham. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people who stood on the terraces supporting their club." God looks up and offers Johnson the seat to his left. He then turns to Hill, "and you, Dicky, what do you believe?" Hill stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honour and passion are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these traits." God, moved by the passion of the speech offers Hill the seat to his right. Finally, he turns to Wilkinson, "and you, Johnny, what do you believe?" "I believe..." says Wilkinson "...you're sitting in my seat."
The Welsh Jersey Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in an Welsh rugby jersey? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.
Referee A rugby referee died and went to heaven. Stopped by St Peter at the gates he was told that only brave people who had performed heroic deeds and had the courage of their convictions could enter. If the ref could describe a situation in his life where he had shown these characteristics, he would be allowed in.
"Well," said the ref, "I was reffing a game between Northern Transvaal and Natal at Loftus Versveld. Northerns were 2 points ahead, 1 minute to go. The Natal wing made a break, passed inside to his lock. The lock was driven on by his forwards, passed out to the flanker who ducked blind and went over in the corner. However, the flanker dropped the ball before he could ground it, and as Natal were clearly the better side all game, I ruled that he had dropped the ball down, not forward, and awarded the try."
"OK, that was fairly brave of you, but I will have to check it in the book." says Peter, and disappears to look it up. When he comes back he says "Sorry, there is no record of this. Can you help me to trace it? When did all this happen?"
The ref looked at his watch and replied "45 seconds ago."
The Fan Van der Merwe was watching a rugby test against the British Lions at Loftus Versfeld stadium in Pretoria. In the packed stadium, there was only one empty seat - next to Van der Merwe.
"Who does that seat belong to?" asked his neighbour.
"It's for my wife."
"But why isn't she here?"
"She died."
"So why didn't you give the ticket to one of your friends?"
"They've all gone to the funeral."
One Liners:
Why don't rugby players have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
Why do rugby players like smart women? Opposites attract.
Why do people tend to hate Australian Rugby players on sight? Because it saves time.
A man went to the doctor one day and said: "I've just been playing Rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, my arms, my head, my tummy and everywhere else, it really hurt." So the doctor said: "You've broken your finger."
All Black for Wales
The All Blacks were playing Wales, and after the half-time whistle blew they found themselves ahead 50-0, Jonah Lomu getting eight tries.
The rest of the team decided to head for the pub instead of playing the second half, leaving Jonah to go out on his own.
"No worries," Jonah told them, "I'll join you later and tell you what happened."
After the game Jonah headed for the pub where he told his team mates the final score - 95-3.
"What!!!!," said a furious Michael Jones. "How did you let them get three points??!"
Jonah replied apologetically: "I was sent off with 20 minutes to go."
Joined: Nov 2004 Gender: Male Posts: 107 Location: Evesham Karma: 0
RUGBY JOKES « Result #2 on Nov 9, 2009, 6:13pm »
Post your rugby jokes here Keep it clean please
Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, 'Joe, we both loved rugby all our lives, and we played rugby on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's rugby there.'
Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed,' Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.
Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, 'Mike--Mike.'
'Who is it? Asks Mike sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'
'Mike--it's me, Joe.'
'You're not Joe. Joe just died.'
'I'm telling you, it's me, Joe,' insists the voice.'
'Joe! Where are you?'
'In heaven', replies Joe. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'
'Tell me the good news first,' says Mike.
The good news,' Joe says,' is that there's rugby in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again.
Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play rugby all we want, and we never get tired.'
'That's fantastic,' says Mike. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?'
Joined: Jan 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 663 Location: Evesham Karma: -1
1ST XV LEAGUE FIXTURES 2009/10 « Result #4 on Jun 11, 2009, 8:40pm »
Midland Division - 2009-2010 - Midlands 4 West (South)
Saturday, 26 September 2009 Alcester Stoke Old Boys 00:00 AM Birmingham Exiles Rugby Welsh 00:00 AM Coventry Welsh Pinley 00:00 AM Dudley Wasps Manor Park 00:00 AM Evesham Keresley 00:00 AM
Saturday, 10 October 2009 Alcester Birmingham Exiles 00:00 AM Manor Park Evesham 00:00 AM Pinley Dudley Wasps 00:00 AM Rugby Welsh Coventry Welsh 00:00 AM Stoke Old Boys Keresley 00:00 AM
Saturday, 17 October 2009 Birmingham Exiles Stoke Old Boys 00:00 AM Coventry Welsh Alcester 00:00 AM Dudley Wasps Rugby Welsh 00:00 AM Evesham Pinley 00:00 AM Keresley Manor Park 00:00 AM
Saturday, 31 October 2009 Alcester Dudley Wasps 00:00 AM Birmingham Exiles Coventry Welsh 00:00 AM Pinley Keresley 00:00 AM Rugby Welsh Evesham 00:00 AM Stoke Old Boys Manor Park 00:00 AM
Saturday, 07 November 2009 Coventry Welsh Stoke Old Boys 00:00 AM Dudley Wasps Birmingham Exiles 00:00 AM Evesham Alcester 00:00 AM Keresley Rugby Welsh 00:00 AM Manor Park Pinley 00:00 AM
Saturday, 14 November 2009 Alcester Keresley 00:00 AM Birmingham Exiles Evesham 00:00 AM Coventry Welsh Dudley Wasps 00:00 AM Rugby Welsh Manor Park 00:00 AM Stoke Old Boys Pinley 00:00 AM
Saturday, 28 November 2009 Dudley Wasps Stoke Old Boys 00:00 AM Evesham Coventry Welsh 00:00 AM Keresley Birmingham Exiles 00:00 AM Manor Park Alcester 00:00 AM Pinley Rugby Welsh 00:00 AM
Saturday, 12 December 2009 Alcester Pinley 00:00 AM Birmingham Exiles Manor Park 00:00 AM Coventry Welsh Keresley 00:00 AM Dudley Wasps Evesham 00:00 AM Stoke Old Boys Rugby Welsh 00:00 AM
Saturday, 19 December 2009 Evesham Stoke Old Boys 00:00 AM Keresley Dudley Wasps 00:00 AM Manor Park Coventry Welsh 00:00 AM Pinley Birmingham Exiles 00:00 AM Rugby Welsh Alcester 00:00 AM
Saturday, 09 January 2010 Birmingham Exiles Alcester 00:00 AM Coventry Welsh Rugby Welsh 00:00 AM Dudley Wasps Pinley 00:00 AM Evesham Manor Park 00:00 AM Keresley Stoke Old Boys 00:00 AM
Saturday, 16 January 2010 Alcester Coventry Welsh 00:00 AM Manor Park Keresley 00:00 AM Pinley Evesham 00:00 AM Rugby Welsh Dudley Wasps 00:00 AM Stoke Old Boys Birmingham Exiles 00:00 AM
Saturday, 23 January 2010 Coventry Welsh Birmingham Exiles 00:00 AM Dudley Wasps Alcester 00:00 AM Evesham Rugby Welsh 00:00 AM Keresley Pinley 00:00 AM Manor Park Stoke Old Boys 00:00 AM
Saturday, 30 January 2010 Alcester Evesham 00:00 AM Birmingham Exiles Dudley Wasps 00:00 AM Pinley Manor Park 00:00 AM Rugby Welsh Keresley 00:00 AM Stoke Old Boys Coventry Welsh 00:00 AM
Saturday, 13 February 2010 Dudley Wasps Coventry Welsh 00:00 AM Evesham Birmingham Exiles 00:00 AM Keresley Alcester 00:00 AM Pinley Stoke Old Boys 00:00 AM Manor Park Rugby Welsh 00:00 AM
Saturday, 20 February 2010 Alcester Manor Park 00:00 AM Birmingham Exiles Keresley 00:00 AM Coventry Welsh Evesham 00:00 AM Rugby Welsh Pinley 00:00 AM Stoke Old Boys Dudley Wasps 00:00 AM
Saturday, 06 March 2010 Evesham Dudley Wasps 00:00 AM Keresley Coventry Welsh 00:00 AM Manor Park Birmingham Exiles 00:00 AM Pinley Alcester 00:00 AM Rugby Welsh Stoke Old Boys 00:00 AM
Saturday, 27 March 2010 Alcester Rugby Welsh 00:00 AM Birmingham Exiles Pinley 00:00 AM Coventry Welsh Manor Park 00:00 AM Dudley Wasps Keresley 00:00 AM Stoke Old Boys Evesham 00:00 AM
Saturday, 10 April 2010 Keresley Evesham 00:00 AM Manor Park Dudley Wasps 00:00 AM Pinley Coventry Welsh 00:00 AM Rugby Welsh Birmingham Exiles 00:00 AM Stoke Old Boys Alcester 00:00 AM
Just spent an hour viewing photos from what was clearly a very successful Mens Dinner - and also learned about the final of the Vase competition so good luck to the 1sts on Sunday
Joined: Nov 2004 Gender: Male Posts: 107 Location: Evesham Karma: 0
Re: UNDER 17 NEWS « Result #9 on Apr 22, 2009, 11:01am »
U17 and COLTS - SUMMER TRAINING
Hi Guys
Training will continue throughout the summer with a mix of fitness and ball skills. Training will be on thursday evenings from 7.00 to 8.30 pm. From now on the Colts will be training with the seniors overseen by Gary Diston and Andy Ibbotson.
Joined: Nov 2004 Gender: Male Posts: 107 Location: Evesham Karma: 0
Re: UNDER 17 NEWS « Result #10 on Apr 15, 2009, 11:13am »
HOME MATCH - SUNDAY 19th APRIL- WIDDEN OLD BOYS RFC
Homematch this weekend. Please be on the pitch for 10.00 am. We need a team again so please let Andy know you are available! This is the last game of the season so lets make it a good one!! Andy is running it again this week so please let him know if you are available or not by Thursday training, contact details on youth committee page.
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